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[26 May 2005|12:33pm] |
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fuck life.
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[24 May 2005|09:37am] |
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mood |
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 spent |
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i just spent the past week in ontario. being isolated in a car for 15 hours with my mom and my brother proved to be quite the challenge, and i’m reminded why it’s a good thing i live four hours away from minneapolis. petty arguments at four in the morning are adorable.
my grandpa’s doing a lot better. i spent a lot of time with him at the hospital; he couldn’t talk so we sat and watched CNN and boxing for hours on end. he started crying after he found out what date it was and how long he had been there. seeing him like that completely fucked me up, i wanted to cry so badly but i wouldn't allow it.
everyday my grandma would walk to the hospital and visit him from 9am – 8pm (the entire visitation time). from noon to 2pm visitors weren’t allowed, so she would sleep in the cafeteria for a couple hours and then go back to his room. she would do this every single day. that just blew my mind, how someone can be so devoted to one person after 65 years.
even though i'm back at my apartment, i can't help but still feel incredibly stressed out. i've developed this cute little eye twitch over the past few days, and i can only infer that it’s stress-induced. i’m…crazy.
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| >__< ? |
[10 May 2005|05:16am] |
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mood |
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(half) asian invasion |
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FACT: 95% of the students here at college library at 5:16AM are of asian descent.
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[27 Apr 2005|11:51pm] |
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mood |
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 teething? |
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music |
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career suicide |
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SERIOUSLY, MY WISDOM TEETH CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF. intense dental pain should s my fucking d. solid foods are DEFINITELY underrated. appreciate your toothy, incisive abilities. i miss sandwiches.
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| f u, march 27 - april 3. |
[03 Apr 2005|03:48am] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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copeland: pin your wings |
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stupid week. it started out shitty, had some genuinely good parts in the middle, & ended with my grandpa having an aortic aneurysm. i've heard my mom cry several times, but it still never fails to fuck me up.
this whole week has been one huge introspective mind-fuck. i did nothing but dissect every part of my actions, my convictions, & also the people in my life. i've come up with the following conclusion: put your trust & faith in people only if you want it thrown back in your face.
a couple days ago, i felt empty & worthless. after listening to my mom bawl on the phone for two straight hours, it's safe to say i'm completely emotionally spent.
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| some things were never meant to BEEAAEEEEE |
[14 Mar 2005|02:59pm] |
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mood |
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... |
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music |
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dragnet. |
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i could not be any more bored.
...WITH LIFE (jkjkjjkkkjkkjk). someone find me a hobby/husband. what? okay.
i need a good book to read. SHOOT!
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| you lookin' FINE, 3/6/2005!!! |
[06 Mar 2005|02:22pm] |
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music |
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amendment 18/f/wi/pic |
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oh lifejournal,
what a crazy week it has been. stacey/dc(!!!) came to visit us!!#(!*#%&(!*#$&! i got to spend 80+ hours with this qTpI:
i got to SLEEP IN THE SAME BED WITH HER, be jealous. stace of basey, it's been decided that we are all going to adopt you & your 800 pairs of chucks because we need you to live...love is like OXYGEN.
unfortunately though, i was a fucking asshole & had to work (for the weekend) & i was a dud & slept a lot, too. WHO DOES THAT? fucking dudley assholes, that's who. it was ry's sweet 16th birthday (never been kissed omg!!) on friday. we both had to work, but we ended up just workin' a bunch of high jam-band fans (if you know what i mean)(& i think you do)(;);););)). these kids had some fiiiiiine mohawks:
so i fucked them.
on the plus side, mr daggs:
he will fucking slice you, your apples, or anyone you've ever loved. god bless wizard world/wizardz/the wiz. bless you.
i'm starting to like madison a lot more. hell is freezing over AWS-MHHC. hanging out with jaxxxxxx, kneal (appreciation post), evan, fun squad, *drop your name here*, etc...makes me happy, even if i fall asleep on hardwood floors and wake up to...(dot dot dot).
minnesota should visit me on spring break.
love,
melanie
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| did you know? |
[22 Feb 2005|12:24pm] |
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i only go to shows for dudes in bands ;)
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| hugs for drugs |
[18 Feb 2005|08:16am] |
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my at&t bill is $489. cute, huh? additionally, in two weeks i have to magically concoct $330 for rent. to that i say "MEH" & i SHRUG MY FUCKING SHOULDERS. "i'm fuckin broke but i still make end$." i've grown to accept my ill-fated credit rating, CHARGE THE WORLD.
i'm in a good mood. this weekend will be the tops: i get to hang out with the homegirls, go to neat shows, & see my mom(sh). the past few weeks i've felt really weird, like perpetually anxious & uneasy. i always had this feeling that something awful was going to happen & it just made me want to vomit/cry/phaaaarEAK OUT! well, fuck all that because i like my life. there are so many shitty things that happen in the world, & i'm just bitching about NOTHING here in MADISON, WISCONSIN. so, friends, here's lookin' at you ;)
attn: PAT, DAN, JAMES, & anyone who likes ZORA NEALE HURSTON. they are making "their eyes were watching god" into a tv movie. it looked pretty decent, & halle berry (your fucking edge) is in it.
on a sidenote, i have kindergarten teacher hair.
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| welp, |
[10 Feb 2005|05:27pm] |
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mood |
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meh! |
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music |
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left hand path ;) |
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i got a new phone & number: 612 296 3764.
i also got a slapshot tattoo:
those are the current events in my life(journal).
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| abba zabba, you my only friend... |
[27 Jan 2005|02:27pm] |
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mood |
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 pist/offended/(slightly hurt) |
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music |
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the killers |
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i got called a slut TWICE in 3 days by TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!!!!!!! SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (yeah fuckkingggg right) and it's real fucking cute how matthew refuses to give me back my shit. it's a good thing he's not 23 years old, otherwise i might say you are a FUCKING CHILD. GROW UP. #$@$^@$^!!GOD DAMMIT. what a shitty week. i like being degraded by creeps, it makes me feel WONDERFUL.
anyhoo, how sweet are tigers?
yeah. pretty damn sweet.
i get to spend 13 hours riding 4 deep in the back of a civic. this is going to be fun/paralyzing. ALL 4 U, DT<333333.
ps THESE ARE MY CONFESSIONS..about you, my homies.
[01] Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
[02] I will then tell what song[s] remind me of you.
[03] Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
[04] Last, I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
[05] Put this in your journal!
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| ATTN: STACEY |
[20 Jan 2005|04:06pm] |
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mood |
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XXX ENTHRALLED XXX |
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music |
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fall out boy |
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this is an extremely nerdy post, f ya!
( SHIT'S OFF THE CHAAAAAIN )
come on, you have to admit that some of those homeboys are pretty badass.
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[18 Jan 2005|11:57pm] |
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music |
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few & the proud |
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i started classes today, but i am still in minnesota. these must be my rebellious teenage years? someone drive me to madison? bueller??
tonight was the H2O show & it was wonderful. we ended up being quite late; somehow it took an hour & a half to drive from ridgedale to the triple rock? thanks, snow/hail & my terrible sense of direction. thankfully, the freddy madball "solo" in guilty by association was performed by their tiny, bearded roadie en espanol. also, seeing longlost kathys & rachels & dorkelson's beards (not so much) made me a very happy..sexually? ...
hawaii was amazin, as expected. although i couldn't exactly "GET INTO IT," it must be because i am spoiled & unappreciative..right? i don't get it - i just felt..uncomfortable..? in the beautiful weather & mountains & beaches? hopefully my reclusiveness will one day evolve into severe agoraphobia. that'd be zesty/zestfully clean.
( 4 sweet pictures. )
i got an X tattooed on my ring finger (palm side, i'm a pussy). i'm straight edge, apparently. it'll fade in a couple months, but that only means i can earl out faster, right?
( with this ring.. )
/ excessive livejournal cutting. FRANKIE'S A CUTTER.
random: i've been thinking a lot about high school, all of our crazy road trips (alabama, milwaukee, denver, iowa 83509135 times), & especially about the friends that i grew apart from & how much they meant to me. the history channel crew? anyone? stupid nostalgia. TED, QUIT DULUTH OR WHEREVER THE HELL YOU ARE. DAN, QUIT BEING A PERVERT. i think watching bottlerocket would kill me.
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| i am a stupid asshole. |
[16 Jan 2005|07:31pm] |
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mood |
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GOOD! I'M GLAD!! |
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DAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY. EAT MORE, I DARE YOU.
giiiirl, you are my everythaaaaang.
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| fuck what ya heard! |
[08 Jan 2005|05:10am] |
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mood |
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 not tired..let's hang out? |
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somewhat-belated new year's resolutions:
1. stop living to satisfy others. i'm not going to feel shitty about the choices i make, & i am definitely not apologetic. "i will not live in my regrets."
2. habitual studying, hell has gotta freeze sometime. i might as well make the most out of my remaining academic career - right, guys? guys??? i will graduate, & move far, far away from this wretched cesspool.
3. be nicer to earl.
i was going to add, "be more sociable" but i have enough acquaintances & i sure as hell don't have time for fairweather friends. i'm forever reclusive. peace out, 2k4!
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| x pleasure knees x |
[04 Jan 2005|03:59am] |
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mood |
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sick/siq/siqkcq135kckk |
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TIMES SQUARE during NEW YEAR's = OVERRATED. i can stand around and get nu-metal moshed at ozzfest. kyle & i didn't even stay to watch that shit (the ball) DROP. i'm pretty sure i can watch some choppy-ass home footage here, in my little closet, & have a lot more fun than standing around like a CHUMP & getting emphysema from drunkards who wave their marlboro lights all up in my grill. see ya!
the only merch i bought this whole weekend was a taking back sunday 7"...on green (ha)(hahaha)(haaa). secretly, "your own disaster" probably has the ability to make me cry. i'm in the hole 50 bucks, let's play c-lo. in conclusion, fun times, fun sweatpants marathon, fun broke-ass van & getting sideswiped..times, & fun xMICHIGANx (x)(xxx)(x).
*wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink*
WHO WANTS TO GO TO ITALY WITH ME FOR SPRING BREAK?!!?%!#% or maybe the $ummer (the dollar sign implies that i will probably not be able to afford it for spring break)? anna is moving there in less than a month, & i'd really like to visit her. free place to stay + ANCIENT ROMAN (latin, fools!) HISTORY!%!!#%!!!! ..plus me?? come onnn!!!!!! punctuation marks!!%!&^!#_^(!^!#%{çëª_&!%¿¿¿►ƒÜô├ IBI EAMUS!!! ..seriously.
side note: i can think of ONE of my friends that has actually given to a relief fund. my friends/acquaintances/human beings need to quit being stuck-up, ethnocentric morons & fucking donate to ANY charity. i'm aware it probably comes off hypocritical as i'm talking about european vacations & road trips, but come on - more than 140,000 dead..that makes me sick to my stomach. there's a bunch of links in my previous *~*elll jayyy~*~ entry, or just go here.
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squarexcore's journal
sono triste :'(